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February 4
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:iconalienfodder:
“Why her and not me?!” he yells at an empty room.

There are various stages of grief and anger is definitely one of them. I’ve seen artwork here showing Kaidan mourning Shepard with a lot of sadness, but I have yet to see anything showing him really angry and upset at the unfairness of it all… So, here's my own version of a mourning Kaidan.

Note that the title could also be: "Why HIM and Not Me?!" I certainly don't discriminate. :D

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The reason I used this "shirtless" model of Kaidan instead of the one where he's wearing the entire uniform is because it was the only one I had at the time. I don't do gratuitous nudity nor fan service.



*******************

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT MY PERMISSION


SPOILERS FOR ME3

I finally beat ME3 for the first time last Friday… Yep, I’m very late to the party but in a sense it’s a good thing because not only did I have the opportunity to experience an extended-cut ending but I was also able to incorporate the two single-player DLCs into my game, which was nice because it gave my Shep new powers and more EMS. Not to mention that it made it much easier to get enough of that EMS to get the best ending.

Anyhoo… My Femshep was romancing Kaidan for the better part of the trilogy (she did cheat on him with Thane) so of course I brought Kaidan for the very last push to the Beam. The goodbyes were heart-wrenching (both in London and on the Evac shuttle) and I was sure that my Femshep was going to die - even though I did choose Destroy and had enough of that damn EMS. Until… Well, you know.:)

Once the game was over and I had cried a good deal, it dawned on me that if any one of the original crew members had been Shepard’s love interest until the end, they had to mourn him or her twice… Twice!! That is just WRONG. Especially in the case of my Femshep since she actually didn’t die and could have been reunited with Kaidan. It’s like ME2 all over again… So this is my way of illustrating some of Kaidan’s grief, the second time around…

Download for full-size version

Credits

Kaidan model by SumirehaikunaXNA
Background by Gamingphoto


Posed in XPS and retouched in Photoshop CS6
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:iconiizel:
Mood: Sadness ~iizel Jun 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Ah god, I just finished ME3.
And despite going against all I worked for in the games, especially saving the geth and creating peace between them and the Quarians. I became so selfish at the end. If Kaidan hadn't begged Shepard not to leave him behind, I would have picked the Control ending, or even just told Catalyst to fuck off. But Kaidan pleading with Shepard, and her telling him no matter what she'd always love him. I broke down and chose the Destroyer ending. I took EDI away from Joker, I spit on everything Legion did and I feel so bad, but I felt so terrible about Kaidan, I chose to sacrifice the others so there was a chance for Shepard.
God this game just ripped my heart out, set it on fire and then stopped the flames out brutally. But I loved it, every second of it.
And this picture, is exactly why I couldn't take Shepard away from Kaidan for the second time. :/ You captured his rage perfectly. Because even though he had so much control over himself after what happened with the Turian, he told Shepard he had always loved her. I don't care how much control someone has, losing someone like that would rip you apart.
Anyway, rant over.
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:iconalienfodder:
*AlienFodder Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It was quite a ride, wasn't it? That game made me cry, laugh, smile, giggle, swear, gasp in awe, groan... :)

Seriously though, I totally know how you feel. I have four different Sheps that I've started either in ME1 or ME2 and my initial intent was to experience at least 3 different endings (Destroy, Control and Synthesis). There was no way I was going to sacrifice my first Shep (she was with me since ME1) but I didn't mind doing it with the others after her.

Except after playing the Goodbye and Evac scenes, I'm not so sure I can do this anymore. As you said, Kaidan's were heartbreaking enough, and now the mere idea of breaking Garrus's or Liara's heart in the same way, also for the second time... Urgh... I just can't. :(

As for EDI: in my head cannon, there's still a back-up of her hidden somewhere in the Normandy's systems and someone's going to put her back together in a brand new body. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.:D
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:iconiizel:
~iizel Jun 3, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Headcannons work for me haha
Hey if Shepard, who is part synthetic and even had the Catalyst say, 'you're going to be screwed in this ending too.' managed to survive at the end, I really don't think the Geth and EDI are a lost cause! There's still chances in there.
Thank the goddess for headcannons right? ;D haha
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:iconbytbyt:
And on that day Kaidan became the master of Hokuto Shinken XD
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:iconandy1979:
Very good. You really get how the loss of Shepard a second time affects Kaidan.
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:iconalienfodder:
*AlienFodder May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much. It's really nice to know I've achieved what I was actually aiming for. :)
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:iconladybelva:
~LadyBelva Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wonderful picture, so full of real emotions and this is just what what he would have done. I've finished ME3 just some hours ago...so much tears...I can't take away that awful scene through the beam way and the bloody corpse of my beloved Kaidan :tears:
Don't rage my love, I'm not dead yet...I'm returning to you!! :love:
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:iconalienfodder:
*AlienFodder Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much! :hug: Yes, finishing ME3 was emotionally exhausting indeed. I'm not sure what you mean by Kaidan's bloody corpse though, since he didn't die (a corpse is the body of someone who is dead). :) But yes, he was definitely bloody and that sad face he made as Shepard was leaving him on the evac shuttle was heartbreaking... :tears:

And I take it that you chose Destroy and your Femshep lived? Mine too... In a perfect world, the Normandy crew found her again and she was reunited with Kaidan. :D

Have you played the Citadel DLC yet? It was so awesome!!!
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:iconxaryenmaelstrom:
~XaryenMaelstrom Mar 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This looks great. And the feels. My gods the FEELS! :cries:
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:iconalienfodder:
*AlienFodder Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you very much! Yeah, I really wanted to show how it really affected Kaidan... :(
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